The Scottish Sun - Stunts don't do fathers justice

The Scottish Sun - Stunts don't do fathers justice

SELF-PUBLICISING muppet Matt O’Connor has disbanded the ridiculous Fathers4Justice.

Not before time, too. His stupid stunts did nothing to advance the cause of dads heartbroken by custody issues over their kids.

And the horrible incident that O’Connor claims forced his hand says everything about the need for someone serious to take up the baton on behalf of these poor guys.

Brian Philcox decided he would rather gas his kids in his Land Rover than not see them. I wrote at the time that I hope he rots in hell and that opinion stands.

That three-year-old boy and his seven-year-old sister played no part in their parents’ dispute. Yet they paid the ultimate price.

It would be wrong to suggest Fathers4Justice had anything to do with their deaths. But it did nothing to make dads like Philcox realise cries for help — from parading around on roofs in fancy dress to far, far worse — do nothing to ease their plight.

Yes, the law needs to ensure estranged dads aren’t just there to be cash machines and doormats.

But while we wait for that day, let’s remember we’re also not here to be martyrs. 

Family Lore: F4J to carry on?

Speculation that F4J is going to carry on

Email 3 from Tim to Matt over the closure of F4J

Matt, 

I am sorry you feel like that.  I am sure you have been pissed off many times with many people.  I don’t hold a grudge,  I just had to tell you how I felt. 

I liked you before I met you and meeting you the other week did not change my opinion of you. 

I won’t mention it again – I just want to move on with the minimum of damage to our cause.  Any ideas you have to move forward from this point would be welcomed and I hope that one pissed off email from me is not going to fuck that up or terminate our relationship. 

Tim

Reply 2 from Matt to Tim over closure of F4J

Tim, somebody else will be in contact with you from now on.

Good luck,

Matt

(Comment - At this point Matt is still going to the meeting in London)

The Sun - Killer Dad made me fold Fathers 4 Justice

The Sun - Killer Dad made me fold Fathers 4 Justice

For a supposedly 'managed and well thought through' closure of F4J, this newspaper article was a disaster.

The comments attached to it are also horrendous.

I posted the 1st and last comments (purely a coincidence believe it or not) as HeartBrokenDad

Email 2 from Tim to Matt over closure of F4J

Hi Matt, 

I respect your decision, but it doesn’t mean I like it.  When people like me joined F4J and paid our subscription for a year there was nothing on the website to suggest that F4J was not in this for the long haul and certainly nothing there to dissuade us from paying our £30 subscription or from buying merchandise either. 

Clearly I would have put the little money I have to better use if I had known even a hint of what was going on. 

I now have a banner which cost nearly £200 (which I was intending to use again), which is now useless because I was told the fathers-4-justice web address had to be on it,  I have 2 tee-shirts which are also useless and a £30 subscription for something which is closed  down at the drop of a hat.  That pisses me off and I don’t expect I am the only one. I know you will understand where I am coming from here. 

You say there is no going back.  Do you really mean that? 

If you had really planned this – then you would have talked to people first so that the transition would have minimised the infighting that has already started.  That sort of bullshit is only damaging to the cause we are all fighting for and the most important thing (in my book) our credibility.  I can already see any number of press releases next week all saying different things and just making us all look stupid and uncoordinated (which actually is true). 

I accept the reality of what you have done, because I have no choice and yes I agree we need a meeting ASAP – I just wish we had had it BEFORE this broke. 

Sorry if I seem frustrated, but that’s because I am.  It just seems to me that after giving so selflessly for so long you are now being a little selfish and I have to say I don’t really understand why.  Don’t take offence, because none is intended.  Perhaps you can help me understand better when we meet next week. 

Best regards, 

Tim

Reply from Matt to Tim over closure of F4J

Hi Tim,

I hear what you say but it was only ever meant to be a 3 year campaign but have made my (very carefully assessed) decision and hope you respect that because there is no debate about it and no going back.

My support is available for a new group with a new name and I have a few ideas and how you can get press out of this ‘from the ashes’ type story.

We need to sort a meeting out later this week with Coxy, Nick, Guy (if poss) and myself providing we all accept the reality.

If we don’t then obviously I wont be involved but wish you well all the same.

Thanks


Matt

4th Email to Mark - Re: New F4J

Hi Mark, 

Apparently he holds copyright over the name and the intellectual property rights. 

I was trying to shame him into not throwing all his toys out of the pram and have told him that I don’t understand him giving to the cause selflessly over a number of years and then killing it in a way which I can only describe as selfish.  I haven’t got anywhere – but at least I tried.  Have also let him know that I am pissed off at paying £30 for a years membership, buying tee-shirts and merchandise and paying to get a banner made which I was told must have the web address on it and which I intended to use again  – only for him to kill it. 

I know you’re angry – that is obvious, so am I – I feel let down because I pinned my loyalty to something I thought was there for the long haul. 

He probably didn’t support my stunt because he hadn’t thought of it.  I had applied to be an activist when I joined and I got a reply back saying this: 

Dear Sir

 We do keep records of everyone who wishes to be an activist. We do not have any plans at the moment to do anything. We will keep your name on file in the meantime, thank you. 

Kind regards

F4J Office

 I just thought to myself WHAT THE ????????????  I thought this was a direct action group.  So fuck em I’m doing it anyway.  In any case I had support from F4J SW.  Perhaps you giving him shit was why he was talking to me every hour on the phone.  He did tell me on the Friday that he would come down on the Saturday, but he didn’t in the end..

With regards to stunts – I have some ideas, but I think some sort of co-ordinated large stunt to let people know we are very much still here and to act as a kind of re-launch would be a way to go.  I have an idea I’d like to discuss that I think would make a decent impact and yet would result in few or no arrests, cause a fair amount of disruption, have the authorities running around like headless chickens, while at the same time being good fun too (a lot more interesting that sitting on a roof lol).

Mark – no one is in any doubt that this must continue, but I think we need to be more organised.

I think it was you who said to me a couple of months ago ‘nothing is coordinated in F4J’

IMO that’s nuts – we can be much more effective if we work together as a team and get a bit of excitement and momentum going again.  100’s even 1000’s at protests make people sit up and take note.  It’s how we get back to those sort of numbers, but I  the entire website, which if it’s not illegal would be simplicity to get back up and running.

Tim

3rd Reply from Mark - Re: New F4J

Matt CANNOT kill the name off-what's he going to do, pass a law forbidding the term Fathers 4 Justice? Think about it...... Don't pander to his ego either as it makes him worse. 

The very worst thing ANYONE can do-and I've known Matt for years-is to try and chase after him. 

This is the THIRD time he's done this, not the second that's reported (2002, 2006 & now) if he sees it going on without him he'll soon be back-trust me on this one. 

Are you planning another stunt? If so, you'll get 100% backing this time, none of this 'unofficial protest' shit. The day you were up on Thorpe's roof I fell out with him over his crap approach to what you were doing. 

Mark

3rd Email to Mark - Re:New F4J

I have been trying to persuade Matt not to kill the name and undo all the work done so far, but he is having none of it. I didn’t think I’d get anywhere, but thought it was worth a try. So I’m not sure how you’re going to keep the name going. 

We absolutely agree on one thing though.  It is essential we all pull in the same direction otherwise no one is  going to listen to what we have to say. 

Tim 

2nd reply from Mark - Re:New F4J

Well, you're in a minority of one, we're keeping the F4J name, style & format. 

Everyone knows what it stands for and that took seven years to achieve.there is no point going back to square one. 

Over the years it's been proven you can't please all of the people any of the time, so no point even trying. 

Whatever is suggested, people always pull in opposite directions. (we shoukld do this, that, etc, etc, etc). 

Real F4J crashed because they don't do anything and all pull in opposite directions-not because they used the F4J name. (also, the first thing they do is ask for £30). 

If Matt comes back then so be it, business as usual, but if he don't then f**k him. 

Mark

Email from Tim to Matt over closure of F4J

Hi Matt, 

Thanks for the chat today.  As I have already said I completely understand your position and reasons for pulling out of F4J at the moment. 

What I simply don’t understand is why you feel the need to pull the plug on it completely. 

You have built a brand that is synonymous with the fight for fathers rights and you have passionately done more for the cause than probably any other single person.  I know the brand is yours, I know it is a trademark etc etc, but why does it have to fold just because you need to take time out? 

You say because you’d be hounded by the press etc 

I don’t think so – Not if you handle it right (and you’re more than capable of doing that)  You are already known (I think) more  as being the founder of Fathers 4 Justice than anything else and this would obviously continue.  If you were to let out a good press release next week, that you were standing down as leader because you are simply burnt out with the 6 year battle that you and your family have had to go through etc etc, you could actually make good press for F4J at the same time. 

I think there are the skills here to keep the whole thing running.  For instance I spent my last 3 years in the military as a webmaster and I am sure I could continue to keep the website up and running.  The website is a great one and details the struggle very well.  It is also a portal for merchandise, which of course includes your book.  As far as someone to face the press instead of you, I have no ideas at the moment, but there must be the skills and willingness among the membership somewhere to keep things going. 

No one is going to run off with your brand or damage it and as far as I am aware you would still own it in any case. 

Even if the name goes here and you don’t allow us to continue using it, this thing (because of YOU!) has gone global.  Our actions here in this country have inspired other continents to take up the fight and use the same brand to do so – Why would they want to reinvent the wheel? 

Matt - this thing is your legacy, please don’t switch off the light as you walk out the door.  Have something to come back to.  I think I have some decent ideas and I’m sure you still have many  buried in your head.  Let others continue what you have started and save us the trouble of having to reinvent ourselves. 

Please think about it.  I think the next 18 months are the most critical since you started this.  Labour are fucked and only interested in trying to save their political necks.  If we can’t get anywhere with the next government BEFORE they get into power, this struggle will get nowhere IMO during their first term in office.  

Reinventing ourselves is going to waste energy at a time when we cannot afford to waste any. 

Please don’t make that necessary. 

Best regards, 

Tim

 PS I spoke to Michael Cox tonight and he is up for the meeting on the 18^th.  I am very grateful that you have honoured your pledge to be there too.

2nd Email to Mark Re: New F4J

Hi Mark, 

Its not a case of wanting in or out.  I think you already know me well enough to know that I’m a fighter and that once I start a fight I don’t give up until it’s over.  As losing this battle is not an option, I will keep fighting until it’s won. 

I think what is important though, is that if F4J is dead then we must reinvent ourselves. A new name a new brand.  I think if we just rehash the old one then we will not be taken seriously. 

The last splinter group that reused the F4J name does not appear to have done anything meaningful.  

I think the next 18 months – 2 years are critical.  We have got nowhere with this government and neither will we now that they are all concentrating on fighting for their political survival.  Labour is fucked and they deserve to be.  We have got to be taken seriously by the next government BEFORE they are elected. 

There are plenty of good people out there that are passionate about our cause and if we get organised and all pull in the same direction, together with the right strategy we could be very effective at making some real steps towards the change we are all after. 

I’d love a chat tomorrow if you have the time. 

Please let me know what your landline is. 

Best regards, 

Tim

Reply from Mark Re: New F4J

Tim, 

If you want in or out that's up to you mate, but Matt has f**ked everyone around for too long with his disbandonments.

I've know him since 2001 and this is the third f**king time he's put the boot in. Last time he went on national TV saying mothers are better parents than fathers. He denies saying it but I saw the t**t with my own eyes on there. The c**t. 

He'll be back by xmas, no question about it, but this GOES ON with (preferably) or without him..

You should be aware that he had to be dragged kicking and screaming to support your job at Thorpe's.

Wait for Matt if you wish, but you'll probably die of old age in doing so,

Mark 

 

Forum post - From Matt

Hi Guys and Girls,

A huge thanks to everyone for their support and contributions over the last six-years. I have done six years service in Dads' Army and I'm afraid that I simply cannot cope with all the demands F4J requires from me when I have three young boys and other paying work commitments.

Six years of voluntary work has cost me a fxxking fortune and my 'public' reputation is actually very damaging and distracting from my paying work. I am sick of the number of times recently when business people have said 'Are you that guy from F4J?'

That was all great in the early days and maybe I should have used a stage name instead for the campaign!

The campaigning MUST continue and it is now down to you guys to step up to the plate and get on with it without me.

We need new blood, a new name and a new start - the problem is that if the name is used then I will continue to be drawn back into it by the media and that really is something I want to avoid.

I'll be supplying behind the scenes advice to a handful of people if they desperately need it and the help and support will continue as Nick Langford will continue to make an historic contribution. Hopefully him and Kip can sort something out.

I'd also suggest somebody starts organising (Tim Line/Jolly?) (Is this the same Tim Line?  "A man who appeared from nowhere and was removed from the forum by the moderators for more underage shit-stirring than Gary Glitter at a Vietnamese children's home." ) and getting on with arranging a meeting to move forward.

I have tried to keep this low profile (Hmmm by talking to the Sun before he spoke to us?) and will make a few calls this weekend to help you all get the ball rolling and nail those fuckers in the family courts and government - this is unfinished business.

Go get em!

Matt

Email to Mark Harris Re: New F4J

Hi Mark, 

You know I have a great deal of respect for you, but, I think this is too much of a knee jerk reaction.  Please wait a couple of days and see what the fallout is like first. 

The one thing this movement needs is unity.  F4J is already a shadow of its former self.  The last splinter group has achieved little or nothing.  This thing is just too big to just be stopped – it is global and it MUST continue.  There are plenty of us with the passion to continue the fight. 

I can understand and support the reasons behind Matt ceasing his involvement, but I strongly disagree with him unilaterally disbanding F4J when it affects so many people. 

Whatever happens over the next couple of days – we MUST come out of this united, otherwise our effectiveness as an organisation will be damaged and any credibility we do have will be diluted. 

A couple of days can’t hurt can it? 

Best regards, 

Tim

The Sun - Pressure group Fathers 4 Justice is to close

PRESSURE group Fathers 4 Justice is to close because its founder has chosen to “put my family first."

The crusaders for dads’ rights, carried out a string of infamous stunts, dressing as superheroes or Santa Claus and scaling buildings and cranes.

Recently, members spent hours on the roof of Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman’s home.

But yesterday Matt O’Connor, who started the group in 2002, said the campaign had become “untenable”.

He said: “I’ve been privileged to work with truly heroic people. I’ve given six years of my life. But the day has come to put my family first.”

The group closed briefly in 2006 after allegations of a plot to kidnap PM Tony Blair’s son.

Forum Post - Matt's announcement that he's killing F4J

Fathers 4 Justice To End Campaign 

The founder of Fathers 4 Justice (F4J) announced today that the organisation would close this month for reasons which had made the future of the campaign untenable.  (Struggling to see what make the future of the campaign untenable)

Matt O'Connor, who started the group in 2002, said that the campaign was planned to last three years but had continued because of the demand from desperate parents. He said it was the most profoundly difficult decision that he had ever made. 

The organisation briefly closed in 2006 after allegations that there was a plot to kidnap the Prime Minister's son. 

Initially the group were going to end their pastoral care services this month, but O'Connor has since said that after discussions with his children, assessing the current campaign situation and the continuing and impossible demands of juggling campaigning with his other commitments, the 'crusade for justice' could not continue. 

Said O'Connor today, 'I have been privileged to work with some truly heroic people. I have volunteered six years of my life to this ministry, doing service and helping other dads, mums and grandparents. But the day has now come for me to put my family first.'

'I hope people will respect my decision to get back to being a father to my children and that other visionaries will emerge to create new groups and continue this historic ministry. We need new blood, new ideas and new vision.'

'I share with everyone, a deep sense of sadness, profound regret and frustration, that the change we have pursued, has been achingly slow to arrive. I want to get my life back away from the campaign and media spotlight.' (Is this it? 1 man needs time away so the whole campaign has to end???)

O'Connor has been working on a new commercial project with his eldest children and other members of his family. The F4J Forum will continue until August 2009 or until a transitional help service is provided. F4J will announce details of this shortly. 

ENDS 

Meeting with Matt O'Connor and Nick Langford

Met Matt and Nick Langford for the first time in a coffee house in Winchester.

Matt wanted to check me out, hear my story, check I was who I said I was etc.

It was inspirational to meet him and although I was not a fan of his self-confessed dictatorial style of leadership, I thought that this was a man with his heart in the right place.  We talked about what was going on now and his vision for the future of F4J.

Nick said very little, but I had already read Family Justice on Trial and had immediate respect for the time effort and detail that he had put into it.

We got kicked out the coffee house because it was closing, so went back to Matt's place.  Everywhere there were momentoes of previous stunts and demonstrations and the place looked 'busy'.

We discussed my personal situation and both of them gave me advice on how to progress with regards my children.

On conclusion of our meeting Matt kindly offered me a copy of his book,  'Fathers 4 Justice - The inside story', which I asked him to sign.

The inscription read:

"To Tim,  

You are a credit and an inspiration. I hope you find peace and reconciliation with your children and begin your lives again.

Best wishes

Matt O'Connor"

I went away from the meeting 'pumped up' and far more positive about the future than I had for a long time.  I was glad that I had joined F4J and felt part of something that could not only improve my situation but the futures of lots of others too.

Response from Matt to Forum posting

Re: C4 News - Michael Gove MP - Shadow Childrens Secretary - condemns lads mags

Fantastic comments Tim! Matt